Need to polish some jewelry? Put toothpaste on it!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  Shhhhh! Do you need to polish up some of your silver jewelry but don't a) know how b) don't want to go buy special jewelry cleaner or c) both?  Just put some toothpaste on it. Scrub scrub scrub and Voila!
                                                                                                 Before

                                                                                                   After
As you see in the picture I used a q-tip, but the best option is an old toothbrush since it's the easiest to scrub with.  I've also used a washcloth, paper towel, and pretty much anything you can scrub with. Amazing. Easy. Cheap. Super Secret.

Guest Post: "There’s an App for That"

-- The following is a guest post from our secret lady friend who chooses to remain 

anonymous until a baby kangaroo is officially put into her mama pouch --

We are currently on Month 2 of our Journey to Procreate, now that Flo has decided to pay a visit and I can more accurately gauge my cycle length (and thus my most fertile days). This time around I’m armed with the knowledge of an even greater arsenal of scary pregnancy articles and, most importantly, a better app. My mom thinks I should just relax and let this happen naturally,  but there are but a few things one can control during this process, and knowing that I’m doing everything possible to achieve success on my end is very relaxing. So there. And dammit if I’m not going to be the Valedictorian of Pregnancy.

So this app. A reader of this very blog contacted my Lady Bits buddy Anna to suggest it to me. It’s called, “My Days,” and lets you chart all manner of lady data, from the dates and level of your menstruation to the consistency of your cervical mucous (in my opinion one of the most disgusting phrases on this Earth), from your weight and temperature to the days you make sweet, sweet love (this you mark with a little heart, which is adorbs).

It even lets you graph your weight and basal body temperature. Science! The reason you’d want to do this, by the by, is that your basal body temperature will be a sustained degree or two higher once your egg drops, and you’ll probably put on a couple post-implantation. Fun fact: my normal body temperature runs a cool 97 degrees on average, and this morning I was a frigid 95.6. Am I even alive?

While I wait for the sparkles in my eyes to manifest in human form, I’m keeping myself busy by revisiting all manner of pregnancy blogs I’ve become acquainted with over the years:

• I spent great gobs of time that I should have been working at one of my first post-college gigs following Jeff Ruby’s blog Push on Chicago Magazine’s website. He wrote a riveting, no-holds-barred exposé of his wife’s first pregnancy and taught me what a mucus plug was.
• I started following Dooce, one of the original mommy bloggers, a year later, and read about her pregnancy with her second daughter in real time after devouring her account of her bout with post-partum depression after having her first.
• More recently, I’ve been following the blog of a friend of a friend of a friend who gave birth only last week. She's hilarious—her pregnancy posts are tagged “My Body is a Wonderland”—and her truthy scribbles actually helped me decide for certain that it was time to create life.

Do you have any require reading or app-ing you think pre-pregians should get into? Share in the comments below!

Surprise party birthday recipes

If you haven't organized a surprise party for a loved one yet, DO IT. I don't care if you're throwing it for a 5-year old or a 105-year old. Everybody loves it. The sneaking around, the lies, the flood of emotion. You gotta do it!

Here was Tom's magical moment. Thanks to Rachael's (shirtless) BF for the footage!

I made a bunch of eats for the party. Here are photos and recipes!

Cherry lime cupcakes:

Ingredients

for the cupcakes -
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
zest of 1 lime
juice of 1.5 limes {about 2 tbsp juice}
1/2 cup buttermilk

for the frosting -
2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup pitted sweet cherries
1 lb powdered sugar
additional cherries for garnish

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake tin with paper liners and lightly spray the liners with nonstick cooking spray.

Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs and continue beating until well combined. Add the lime juice and mix well.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt and lime zest. Add the butter and sugar, then drizzle in the buttermilk. Keep beating until batter is smooth.

Scoop out batter into prepared cupcake tins. Fill each tin 3/4″ of the way full then bake for 30 minutes until cupcakes are golden. Remove cupcakes from the oven and let cool completely before frosting.

To make the frosting, beat the butter in a stand mixer until it softens. Add the pitted cherries (these can be roughly chopped or just halved) and the powdered sugar and keep beating for another 6-8 minutes until very fluffy. The cherries will naturally break up during this process.

Frost cupcakes and top each with a whole cherry.

Taco dip:

Ingredients

8oz hummus (I used Sabra Chipotle Hummus)
6oz plain Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon salt-free taco seasoning
1/4 cup salsa

Toppings:
chopped tomato
sliced black olives
shredded cheddar cheese
shredded lettuce
diced avocado

Instructions

Spread hummus on the bottom of a deep plate. Mix taco seasoning with Greek yogurt then spread on top of hummus. Dallop salsa on top followed by remaining toppings. Serve with tortilla chips and sliced/chopped fresh veggies.

Crockpot chicken tacos:

Ingredients

chicken breasts
jar salsa
can black beans, drained
frozen corn

taco seasoning or......

1 Tbsp chili powder
1/2 Tbsp cumin
1/2 Tbsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp salt to taste
cracked pepper

Instructions

STEP 1: Add everything except the rice, cheese, and cilantro to the slow cooker along with 1/4 cup of water (for good measure). Give everything a good stir and make sure the chicken is covered in the mixture.

STEP 2: Secure the lid on your slow cooker and cook on low for 8 hrs.

STEP 3: After 8 hours of cooking, carefully remove the lid of the slow cooker. Stir with a fork to shred the chicken (it should be super tender and will shred easily). 

Mexican oven fries:

Ingredients

2 small russet potatoes
1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
salt & pepper
2 Tablespoons grated parmesan cheese

1 tablespoon taco seasoning

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Wash and dry potatoes then cut into quarters. Cut each quarter into two or three 1″ wedges then place into a bowl. Add oil, salt, and pepper, toss to coat, then place onto a foil-lined, nonstick-sprayed baking sheet and roast for 35 minutes, flipping half way through. Remove potatoes then sprinkle 2 Tablespoons parmesan cheese on top of hot potatoes and then serve.

Guest post: "Rocket Go Boom, but Still an Empty Womb"

-- The following is a guest post from our secret lady friend who chooses to remain 

anonymous until a baby kangaroo is officially put into her mama pouch --

Every month when Flo showed up I had a ritual of triumphantly telling or texting my husband, “Not pregnant!” and he would usually respond with some form of, “Atta girl!” At one point I reflected that someday soon I would have the opposite reaction upon learning that my oven had stayed un-bunned.

Reader, today is that day.

I’ve read ad naseum about pregnancy symptoms—the lower back pain, the swollen and tender bosom, the nipples of unusual color and size, the tendency to hork when encountered with the odors of things like persimmon and beef jerky, odors that used to be so pleasing—and I have none. I’d also long thought that if I was preg I would dream vivid prophecies of my unborn child. Last night I dreamed of dragons. I was fairly certain I wasn’t Khaleesi, but to be more sure I took this quiz on The Bump.

It’s very similar to those quizzes you used to take in YM or Seventeen that tell you if you’re a good friend or if you’re totally stressin’ or if maybe you’re a bit of a sloot, in that there is a very obvious right answer. I forced myself to stay truthful, and got the following result:

“Well, you’re probably not pregnant, but there’s only one way to find out. Hormonal shifts and an increase in blood volume usually cause a woman’s body to change pretty early on in pregnancy, bringing on (annoying) symptoms like nausea, frequent peeing and fatigue. But since you’re not experiencing many of these symptoms, it doesn’t really sound like you’re pregnant.”

The quiz suggested I confirm their totally scientific results with a test, so after a brief consult with Doctor Google I headed to Walgreens to get a three-pack of First Response tests (on sale!), which can be accurate up to six days before your missed period. I stick-peed this morning, when the pregnancy hormone would be most concentrated. After one minute, I was probably not pregnant. After two, it was pretty durn sure I wasn’t pregnant. Minute three rolled around and I was definitely not pregnant.

I allowed myself a few minutes to spiral. “You definitely miscalculated your ovulation. What were you thinking? Obviously you don’t have a 28-day cycle. Way to be dumb, DumbFace.” “Maybe you don’t even ovulate anymore because you were born with only 60 eggs and the last one dropped years ago. Maybe you’re going through menopause. Is this bathroom just really hot or are you HOT FLASHING??” “This is the first milestone on a road that leads to fertility treatments and soon you’ll have sextuplets and you’ll have to buy a new house and you’ll have to become a YouTube sensation so you can go on Ellen to try to get free diapers.”

Then I thought, “Maybe it’s for the best. Your dinner last night was white cheddar popcorn and a s’mores blizzard. If there had been a child in there you would have reduced its IQ by at least half a point.” And also, “Stop being dramatic. Make offerings to a few different fertility gods to cover your bases and just keep trying.”

The injustice of it all is all those years I went to ridiculous lengths to stay barren. At one point with my first boyfriend I was using three forms of birth control! Three! Ridiculous. After watching all these documentaries it seems truly impossible to get knocked up. Even if the stars align and the rocket goes boom within the 2-3 day period when magic can happen, it STILL might not work! How are all these unwanted pregnancies even happening?! Seriously! Tell me your secrets, Teen Mom!

Also, maybe you should try using three forms of birth control.

Let's get Knotty!

Lady Bit Anna W. sent us a link to these fun new hairstyles to try, http://www.elle.com/beauty/hair/easy-updos-braided-brooch-step-one#slide-1 Go ahead, check them out. Back? ok good. Well I went ahead and tried the "Knotted Updo."

As you can tell from my change in shirt, I tried it a few times.  I love the look of it, it's a great change from my go to french braid, but I think it would work better on hair that has some texture.  Mine had a hard time staying put!  Conclusion: definitely a "day two" hair style. I bet it would be amazing in curly/wavy hair!  Someday I'll try the "Embellished Top Knot." What do you think? Is that one too out there?

Guest post from a (possibly?) pregnant Lady Bit

-- The following is a guest post from our secret lady friend who chooses to remain 

anonymous until a baby kangaroo is officially put into her mama pouch --

Right now I am being held hostage by something that may or may not be true. Namely, I may or may not be currently pregnant. This means I may or may not be damaging the development of a teeny tiny speck of life that may or may not exist with every gulp of alcohol I drink and every whiff of smoke or pollution I inhale and every schmear of unpasteurized cheese I consume.

 The exhausting part is that, due to the widely held three-month rule of secrecy, I can’t tell most people why I’m acting differently. Why I have to say, “That sushi looks delicious, truly madly deeply delicious, but I’m going to have to pass.” Why I’m ordering ginger ale in small glasses and pretending (unconvincingly) that it’s scotch.

 My husband and I decided at the end of June that we wanted to start trying for a spawnling. I was nearing the end of my last pack of birth control, and the timing seemed good with both of us in secure jobs and in a financial place where we felt like we could bankroll a child. I scheduled an appointment with my regular lady doc to get her blessing, and she told me that Hubs and I should have sex every other day until we’re sick of each other for the next year. If, by that point, nothing was happening we could then start discussing infertility treatment.

I got an app to tell me when I was going to be most “ripe,” to be totally disgusting about it, and made sure that we were doing the business on the proscribed schedule (Lady Doc told me not to do it more often than every other day so that his swimmers would be at peak strength). I forced my husband to abstain from alcohol during this period along with me—over the July 4 holiday no less—partly because I read online that he should and mostly because I wanted to see how far he would go for our unborn child.

The one exception I made was the night that the conception may or may not have taken place, and I was at an event where a glass of wine was included in the price of admission so I felt like I had to drink at least half of it in order to get my money’s worth. I had watched a pregnancy documentary starring Courtney Cox earlier that day, so I knew that if everything had gone according to plan, cells were only just beginning to divide into a raspberry the size of a pen tip and burrow into my uterine lining. There wouldn’t be a brain to destroy for another few weeks, if, you know, there would be a brain at all. I thought of it as my last hurrah.

Now, all I can do is wait. Assuming I have a regular cycle, I’d be getting my period this Thursday. The thing is, I never had a regular period before going on the pill all those years ago, so maybe I really have a 32-day cycle or a 46-day cycle. My mom assured me that she had the same irregularity issue, and yet still managed to get pregnant, “every time your father gave me that special look after holding a baby at a party.” She recommended that I smell pregnant mothers and their children to try to stir up a hormone soup in my brain. Seriously. What???

This is the advice I have to rely on because she’s one of the only people in my Circle of Trust who has given birth.

I’m a talker. I like telling everyone everything always; it’s somewhat of a family trait. And it’s K-I-L-L-I-N-G me to not be able to talk about this to anyone. I want to talk about how weird it is to be trying to get knocked up after a full decade of actively and fervently making sure that didn’t happen. I want to talk about the “Another one bites the dust…” angst I’m sure to get from some of my gal pals who will view this development as an end to Life As We Know It. I want to talk about all the confusing information out there (try reading this article without going cross-eyed).

Ladies of Lady Bits, will you let me talk to you?

"Neapolitan" Style Margherita Pizza!

There's not a whole lot in this world I like more than Neapolitan style pizza.  The bubbly crust, the melted rounds of Mozzarella. Oh my goodness my mouth is watering already.  My favorite spot in Minnesota for this treat is at Punch Pizza (if you haven't been there, stop what you are doing and go! go right now!) If you can't make it there, or like me are trying to save some money, then try this version at home. I came up with this quick "homemade" version by using things I had on had and needed to use up. Plain Tandoori Naan from Trader Joes for the crust, tomatoes from the farmer's market, basil from my basil plant and Mozzarella rounds I had leftover from a Caprese salad I made earlier in the week.

 

Ingredients:

Trader Joe's Tandoori Naan (in the frozen food section)

Tomato- sliced

Fresh basil 

Fresh mozzarella ball, cut in rounds

garlic- thinly sliced

olive oil

salt and pepper

red pepper flakes (optional)

Set oven to 400 degrees, Drizzle a little olive oil on frozen naan and heat in the oven on an ungreased cookie sheet for about 30-45 seconds, just to warm it up a little.

Take out of oven and place slices of tomatoes and garlic on top of the naan. 

Sprinkle a little bit of salt and pepper on top of the tomatoes

Layer Mozarella on top

Place basil leaves on top of the Mozzarella

Drizzle a little more olive oil and top with a sprinkle of red pepper flakes (if using)

Turn oven to "broil" and place pizzas on the middle rack for about 10-15 mins.  

Watch carefully and take out when the cheese is bubbling and starting to brown.

I ate two of these little pizzas and liked them so much I made them again 2 days later!

Enjoy!

Happy 5th of July: Sweet Cherry Plum Pie!

I don't know about you, but I normally get inspired to make an amazing Fourth of July dessert when it's too late. Every year I think it will be different - I'll plan ahead, find the perfect recipe and have a fun excuse to make a fun dessert like a berry flag cake, or strawberry sparkle cake. Instead something always comes up and without fail I miss an opportunity to make my dream Fourth of July dessert. So if you're like me and didn't get your baking fill this holiday, here's a perfect recipe that's as American as a dessert can be but is perfect for any summer occasion. I actually made this in London, when it was 60 degrees, so really it's the right dessert for whenever you crave some cherry plum pie! 

Sweet Cherry Plum Pie

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen 

Crust 

**This dough recipe is technically double the amount you need. I used one half of this recipe for the entire pie, but you could use all of it and make a top crust instead of a lattice pie 

3 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 1/2 tablespoons sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 1/2 cups unsalted very cold butter

3/4 to 1 cup buttermilk 

Pie Filling

4 cups pitted fresh cherries (2 1/2 pounds) 

1-2 plums cut up into pieces

4 tablespoons of cornstarch (or flour)

2/3 to 3/4 cup sugar (the amount depends on how sweet your cherries are. I only used 1/2 cup and could have used a bit more)

1/8 teaspoon salt

Juice of half a lemon

1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter

1 egg

To make the pie crust

Whisk together flour, sugar and salt in the bottom of a large wide bowl. If you have a pastry blender, cut up the butter in small pieces and use the pastry blender to work the butter into the flour until the butter is the size of tiny peas. Or a nifty trick is using a grater to grate the cold butter into the flour. This will make the butter into small pieces and once you mix the grated butter into the flour you should have the right consistency. If not, use your fingers to break up the butter into smaller pieces in the flour. Gently stir in 3/4 cup buttermilk with a rubber spatula, mixing it until it makes a mass. Then use your hands to knead the dough a few times into a ball. If the dough isn't sticking together add more buttermilk one tablespoon at a time until it kneads to form a ball. Divide the dough in half, wrap each half in plastic wrap and flatten until it forms a disc. Chill in the fridge for at least an hour or up to two days. 

To make the pie 

1) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

2) Stir together the cherries, plums, cornstarch, sugar, salt and lemon gently together in a large bowl. 

3) Roll out the pie crust on a floured surface. Place the rolled out dough gently into a 10 inch pie pan and trim the edges so that there is at least half an inch overhang. 

4) Spoon filling into the pie crust and discard the rest of the pooled liquid left in the bowl.

5) Place the bits of cold butter on the top of the filling. 

6) If you are making a full crust top pie, place the other round on top of the pie, leaving a 1 inch overhang. Fold the overhang over the bottom crust and seal it either decoratively or with a fork to crimp the edges. Cut small vents into the top of the crust for the steam to escape. 

7) If you are making a lattice top pie, roll out the leftover dough and cut it into strips. Place over the pie in a lattice design with 1/2 an inch overhang over the edges. Use a fork to crimp the lattice pieces with the bottom crust. 

8) Whisk egg gently to make an egg wash. Brush the egg wash over the pie crust. 

9) Bake the pie in the middle of the oven for 25 minutes. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees and bake for another 25-30 minutes, or until the crust is golden.

10) Let the pie cool on a rack before eating. 

Bookshelf it!

I live in a pretty small apartment with a pretty big guy and a pretty sassy cat. As we accumulate more and more stuff, our apartment gets smaller and smaller, but I've found that one thing helps more than anything else in every room of our apartment. BOOKSHELVES. They're not just for books anymore. Check this.

Shoes! This bookshelf is right in the doorway of my apartment. Tom gets the bottom four for his shoes, I get the top four for my shoes, hats, mittens, umbrella, etc. Before I put this in our doorway, our shoes spilled out into the hallway, living room, and front porch room. It was madness I tell you.
Shoe! Madness!

Office supplies! I use this bookshelf next to my desk to house my ukulele, binders, extra old computers, and every kind of electronic chord known to man. This one is kind of obvious, but it made a huge difference to my work area. And it helped separate me from fricking Nerf-land over there.

 

TUPPERWARE! Ok this isn't technically a bookshelf, but I am sort of a tupperware fiend and they all fit nicely here in this shelf under the window. And I keep my canvass grocery bags underneath that stool in the corner. Before this stool, they could not be contained. 

DISHES! When I realized I could store cups, tea supplies, cereal, AND
recycling in one bookshelf, it was a happy day. A happy day indeed. 

CLOTHES! The bookshelf to the right is filled with my t-shirts, socks, pants, and unmentionables. Before this I tried to shove them into my tiny closet and into these small drawers to the left. Nuh uh, girl. It did not work.

And, of course, BOOKS! But you know that anyway. I arranged these three cascading shelves so they nest right underneath the bar table in my hallway. Out of the way, and so much prettier to look at than a white wall.

Also here's just a tip. I really needed small containers to separate my makeup into, and my favorite thing to use is both sides of a travel soap container. They're shallow and durable AND really cheap. Yay.

Ok thanks for diving into the wonderful world of bookshelves with me!