Craft Fail: Cross Stitch iPhone Case

I'm what goal achievement expert Barbara Sher calls a "scanner," which is really just a nice way of saying I start a lot of things I don't finish. And if there were a pie chart of all the projects I never completed, I’d estimate that “failed” crafts would take up at least 60 percent. But how am I supposed to know what crafts I am actually good at unless I try them all, right?

A few weeks ago, I was lunching with a particularly crafty friend of mine (she co-produces a craft-themed variety show, for gosh sakes!) when she casually whipped out her iPhone, flashing a cross stitched design on the perforated back. A CROSS STITCH IPHONE CASE. I was even more excited when she said she found the blank cases at JoAnn Fabric for just five dollars (spoiler alert: my mom and I found them on clearance there the next week, for only THREE!).

Isn't it mesmerizing?

To understand my instant obsession with this novelty, you need to know a little about my childhood. All the ladies on my mom’s side are extremely crafty--like, have your own craft room and dress form and make money at craft sales crafty. My grandma tried to teach me nearly every craft she knew (including quilling!), but cross stitch was the only one that stuck, and the only one I ever really felt accomplished at. So obviously I was all over this new cross stitch medium, and I needed a new phone case anyway. Enter: a match made in craft heaven. I was riding a crafters high as I picked out my lime green case, envisioning the Kate Spade-esque stripes I could create as I selected blue, fuschia, and silver embroidery thread. I rushed home to count out the rows and plot out my design...but 2 episodes of Chopped and a mere 7 rows later, I was SO over it.

This is where we parted ways. It was for the best, really.

What went wrong, you ask? #1 Too much thread. I am lazy and really hate separating out the threads in embroidery thread, so I skipped that step in my excited haste. I really shouldn’t have, though, because the girth (heh) of the string was too thick and it made my design look a little sloppy and was very susceptible to knots. It also made the silicone case bend in weird ways. #2 Metallic thread. Metallic embroidery thread is slightly thicker and more unwieldy than regular embroidery thread, which just compounded #1 and made my silver thread really difficult to use. As you can see, I only finished one row of the silver before throwing in the needle for good. #3 Fuzz factor. Thread is fuzzy, did you know that? As soon as the first few rows were completed, I was dismayed to see that there was already a haze of fuzz forming above the stitches. For cross stitched designs in a frame, this isn’t a big deal--but on my phone, my fifth limb and most frequent accessory? No one wants a tiny afghan on the back of that.

Close up. Yeesh. 

So I admitted defeat, and gave up on my dream iPhone case. Lucky for me, this is one craft I can actually try again, I just need to pull out the rows I’ve done and start fresh. I am not saying I will ever actually DO this, but it’s nice to know I COULD.